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This
article was first published in Divorce
Magazine and is re-printed with their full permission.
If you’re one of those divorced persons who has a contentious relationship with your ex be ever so careful that you don’t let it impact the mental well being of the children you are parenting together.
Unfortunately, children are almost always victims when it comes to divorce—helpless victims who love both parents—and the last thing they need is to feel the tension and acrimony between the two people they love the most. Nor do they need to feel they must choose one parent over the other. But I find that couples are so caught up in their anger, or need for control, or bitterness, that they don’t fully realize how their behavior (their unkind words and actions toward one another) can affect their children who are often left feeling they must pit one parent against other.
Whenever I find myself talking to the children of parents who are involved in a custody battle, for example, or simply caught between Mom and Dad as they fight over visitation matters, I feel a tremendous sadness. I often wish that parents could simply walk around in their children’s shoes during just one of those inappropriate incidents. Then they could feel the stress and discomfort their children experience.